the blog

Welcome to the blog. 

these are streams of consciousness that i never read back or edit before i publish! 
i've been writing on here since i was like 14 so be wary as you scroll that my miserable teenage self is present on this page. 

  (still experimenting with my font size) enjoy.

Lazyness

January 7, 2012
You know we live in the lazy generation when you realize how much effort electric toothbrushes take out of your day... xD Ughh, only two more days until I go back to school. Can I be 24 already?

Posted by Heather.

 

Hello2012♥

January 6, 2012
First off Happy New Years to everyone! Hope 2012 turns out better than 2011 did. (; Even though 2011 was a pretty good year for me, I'm ready move on. Although the daunting task of getting older is beginning to weigh down on me and I'm not so sure I want to grow up anymore. So if you can't find me anymore, I'll be chilling in Neverland with my boy Peter Pan. (; By the way my Christmas went fantastically. I'm not five anymore so you don't need to know what I got xD Ugh. I hate this. I hate this winter. I hate how this winter is so warm. I haven't even gone close to turning on the fireplace at all during this winter. It feels like summer. I wish I lived on the East Coast. SoCal sucks. I don't have a resolution. I can't ever seem to keep resolutions, so this year, I'm not even going to bother to make one. I wish I was a stable person, because if I was I would be able to watch my weight, do better in school, keep friends, or not be self conscious. All of these common resolutions are resolutions that I wish I could stick to..if I was a stable person. Whatever. I'm nervous, a week from now I'm going to be auditioning for our Drama 2 school musical. It's gonna be amazing no matter what, so I'm not nervous for what part I'm going to get. I'm nervous about singing. Ahhh. I can't sing, period. Honestly. Wish me luck!
♥International Love♥

Posted by Heather.

 

Monterey.♥

December 30, 2011
Was really really really fun. Trips with my family are always amazing.♥ We drove for 7 hours, up there. Then we checked into the hotel. We went for a walk down by the bay. Lemme tell ya, that place is a girl's dream. (: Shopping, food, stuff. Couldn't get to sleep that night. Maybe it's because I slept in the car. x] Next morning after breakfast we headed on down the the Aquarium [which is world famous by the way (;] It was super duper interesting. Although it was crowded, I've been through billions of situations with crowds is small places so I wasn't that annoyed. We ate then went for a walk, and slept. I slept well that night, thanks for asking. Next morning after breakfast, we went on a walk and then drove down the 17 mile drive which is famous for its views. We saw an abundance of adorable otters, and a huge rock with 70 or more seals relaxing on it. After that we drove on down to Carmel. We went for an unnecessarily long walk looking for food. Finding nothing, we then ended up just driving down a few miles and eating there. By that time it was about 2 or 3 o'clock. We decided to take the coastal rode back down home, which took longer than expected, but the fact that we saw a pod of whales swimming down the coast was absolutely incredible.♥ Unfortunately it soon got dark, and my dad got tired so we had to pull into a hotel for the night. It actually was pretty cool, for one night. We went for a walk that night, through the streets of San Luis Ebispo. Wow oh wow was it amazing. I kind of want to live there. The shops and restaurants and streets are just extremely cool and fun. That morning after breakfast we started our drive back home. Here are a few random pictures to give you a feel of what happened these past few days.


















Posted by Heather.

 

just back.

December 30, 2011
Just got back from our great trip to Monterey. I'll post about it later, but I just wanted to get something down, while my pictures are loading. I was thinking about "life" while we were driving by the coast on the way back. I got to the topic that all girls get to when they think about "life": Guys. Woaah. Big topic, Huge topic. And I started thinking about who I like. And how the guy I like, isn't approved by anyone I know. He's what you could call "popular," but in a way, people think he's gross. Whatever. I'm trying to get myself to not like him. I'm having my friends tell me things that make him a jerk, a weirdo, or anything that would turn me off.. Not, working.. Anyway, as I was thinking about all this Guy crap, I was trying to picture guys that I've previously fell for. I could only picture one. The guy that I could picture (let's call him Fred), I had liked in 6th and 7th grade, and then he moved. I almost cried, honestly. I feel weird knowing that he was the only guy who's face I could picture in my brain. It's not true love or anything, heeell no. I guess it's just one of those things that you can't explain. Not even the most accomplished psychologist could get me to believe that there is a specific reason that I could only picture him.. Don't give me all this crap about how it's because he moved and I don't see him all the time, because I moved from Arizona not too long ago, and I can't picture any of the guys I liked back then. I really don't need an answer, I just need to ponder it, and ask myself what my future husband is doing at this moment.. He's probably at some fan thing, because my future Husband's name is Jackson Rathbone♥ And I loove him. Even though he's 14 years older than me. Ahhh. xD But I'm serious....I need to see Fred again..
♦There's No Place Like Home♦

Posted by Heather.

 

Stroonger, Stroonger!♥

December 18, 2011
   Just a week left until Christmas (: It's always the best time of the year to me. I mean, the music annoys the freaking hell outta me, but now there's only days left and I'm realize that I'm having a really good life. At least, that's what happens with me.. Did you know that mexican food is the freaking bomb? And did you know, that in Southern Cali, the weather can go from a beautiful sunny day, to an over cast covering in about 4 hours? Aha. I Love it! Anyway.. The beach's annoyingness, is dying down. I don't hate it as much as I used to.. Maybe I hated it because of the fact that The Beach his kind of a big part in our move from Arizona to California. Maybe I was still hanging on to Arizona.. But now, I don't feel any sort of love from anyone back in Arizona. I try to talk to people but I feel like they are kind of done with me. And that's all right, I guess.. Maybe It's a good thing for me. Ugh this is getting too deep. I really want to just love it here, and forget that I even lived in Arizona. But I can't, and I don't think I will ever be able to let go of my past in Arizona. I still love everyone there, but maybe that love is just a feeling I'm substituting in for missing them. You know? ..No Shirt No Shoes And I Still Get Service, Whaat?.. (;
♪What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger Stand A Little Taller, Doesn't Mean I'm Lonely, When I'm Alone♪

Posted by Heather.

 

Happy27♥

December 15, 2011
First off, Happy Birthday to my Celebrity Husband! He's freaking amazing, and I'ma marry him (i don't care about how he is 14 years older than me xD)♥ And holy freaking moly. Is Chris Renee amazing or what? I think I'ma cry if he doesn't make it into the finals, only because every time he sings all his heartfelt stuff I just cant do anything. I can't do anything but listen. Like his "No One," last night. OMG I was just speechless, I had this weird knot in my stomach and I just...Dude I can't even say anything. I LOVE CHRIS RENEE♥ Anyway. I got a twitter. @FeatherOnFire Aha, it's chill! Even though I have the least amount of tweets and followers than the nerdiest nerd alive xD So this week I performed my monologue and I'm not gonna get all cocky I just wanna say that My Drama Teacher really liked it. Not kidding. I'm really excited, also, for The Kind Of Secret Santa thing that we are doing next week. Oh mah gosh I love being in Drama. (: I miss her. I miss her. I miss her. I can't even try to explain to you how complicated this is. I'm typing this and clutching my stomach because I miss her so much. I'm just thinking that last year we were as close as close can be, and this year I've only talked to her for a legit 5 times. I'ma cry. Moving On... I'm just making up names for this next part, so don't freak out Okay, dude. I don't freaking care about it. I don't give a freaking crap. I can go through the day without you telling me all of that crap. Do they both think that I miss Eva all the time. Do she think that I should be jealous of how much she hangs out with Eva? No. I don't care. I really really really could care less about what you and Amy do. I seriously wish that I had never met Eva now. Because then I wouldn't have all this crap to be worrying about. Damn it. I swear I only have 2 friends in this entire world right now. Not including my family. School is good though. I like it, generally. I feel like I missed something in this giant of a post.. xD I love Blogs.
♥.No One, No One, No One, Can Get In The Way Of What I'm Fee-ling.♥

Posted by Heather.

 

He Asked Me Out

December 6, 2011
And I Said No.

Posted by Heather.

 

Commissioner's Cup

December 4, 2011
I haven't touched a computer, cell phone, or television remote all weekend until right now. I'm dead serious. It's because of the Commissioner's Cup. A soccer tournament we had on Saturday and Sunday. If you've been reading my posts, you would know that I wasn't very confident in our ability to win games this weekend, mostly because our best player was forced to quit. I was dead afraid that our Undefeated record would be cut short, but amazingly we are still undefeated! Woop! Love my team, and I had a fantastic time this season. We've only given up 6 goals (the last one should not have been conceded because of this stupid referee that caused our downfall in this tournament..) and haven't lost one game. Tied three games, and won 10. To give you a recap of the tournament; The first game we got robbed of a win, and a shutout, period. Referee.. The score was 1-1 (their goal was an unfair penalty). We had that game at like 9:00 in the morning and then at 12:00 we had our end of season partayy which was really fun. We got our trophies (along with an uplifting speech for each girl by our amazing coach) at the party and gave our coaches gift and stuff. Yeah it was cool. After the party, at 4:30 we headed on over to the park to play our final game of the day. Let me tell you, it was freaking freeezing! We were cold to death. It was fun, though, and that game ended up scoreless. I got In-N-Out after that which, by the way, is the best burger place in the world. Yum. Now I'm hungry. Anyway. Got home, went to sleep, woke up the next morning and headed over to the park again to play what would become our last game as a team together. Ahh, I'm gonna cry.. We needed a 3-0 win this morning to get into the finals, and ended up with a 2-0 win.  But, I have to say, we all played amazingly. I'm sounding like a freaking grandma right now, but whatever. We played amazingly in our tournament, I think, and after the tournament I was crying. Trying to hide it, but crying. I love our coach to Death. I'm not even kidding, I'm gonna miss all the fun we had during the season. There were so many moments that are making me smile right now, too many to name. I loved playing soccer this fall, and I'm gonna end up crying multiple nights out of misery that our season is over. I know it seems stupid to cry and stuff, but if you were me, you'd understand. I have no idea whether I'm gonna play next season or not, so don't ask. UGH. I don't know.. I LOVE YOU RED DEVILS.♥



^^ After the game. Eye black is a thing for our team.♥

Posted by Heather.

 

WelcomeDecemberr.♥

December 2, 2011
So hey. It's December babe. December 1st. Time to start eating the advent calendars! Woop. If only I had one. No worries, I'll buy one. But I am kinda broke. Which is a bad thing around Christmas time.♥ A really, really, bad thing. So right now, the wind is blowing pretty hard. The Santa Ana winds are blowing into town, apparently, and actually is much prettier than you would think. Seeing all the trees and bushes and other plants swaying around is really kind of beautiful. In a way. I have such interesting friends. I love them to deathh. So many inside jokes, too many to name. Ahh. Good times. Life is good good. Although we are kinda of screwed for commissioners cup on Saturday and Sunday, after our best player was forced to quit the team. Long story short; our winless record is unfortunately (probably) going to end in this weekend's tournament. Also, I can't hang out with friends this weekend because of the tournament. Yayy. And, for all of you that are keeping up with my Drama life (xD); we are doing Shakespeare monologues for our auditions for Shakespeare festival. I swear, I'm like the only one in the class that has their's memorize. Ahaha. Ha. I'm working on blocking. Dude, I looove the monologue. It's super cool. Hopefully I get into a good category. Have a good Friday and a fantastic December!
♪She Wants To Touch Me, Wooh, She Wants To Love Me, Wooh, She'll Never Leave me, Wooh, Wooh, Woh♪

Posted by Heather.

 

AfterThanksgiving.

November 29, 2011
Yeah. Thanksgiving was chill. Breaking Dawn was sweet stuff, and coming to school today was the freaking bomb. We are such teenage girls, my group and I. My friends.. This morning, walking down the hill I wanted to kill myself. I'm losing people. I'm losing so many people. Not only my real friends from Arizona, but friends I once had here. Remember how last year, I was always posting about my friend- that will not named at the moment. How she was my best friend. How she was absolutely amazing, because she was. Yeah, I've lost her. I mean. When was the last time we talked? I mean, actually talked? Last year. I'm not kidding. I can't think of a conversation we've had this school year that has been actually productive in our friendship. Ugh. She's my main point. I'm losing people and I can't get them back. Various reasons are creating a barrier. A large barrier. And it's getting thicker. I'm freaking out. But then I get to school, everyday, and all these amazing people just love me. I love my friends, and no matter how much I think I love them at certain times, I go to sleep and I thank my lucky stars that I have them. I really want to gain some friends back, but I guess I need to work on keeping the friends I've got. I've been having a pretty swell year, and I'm ready to end it out well. What do ya think? Aha. This post was deep. Ugh. I gotta get started on buying Christmas gifts. Yay? Get. A. Skype.
♪We Found Love In A Hooope-Less Place.♪

Posted by Heather.

 

TowerHeist.♥

November 23, 2011
So, Hey! It's the Holiday season. So Woop Dee Do. Aha. Thanksgiving in two days. Woop! Should be an okay Thanksgiving. Yeah. So for the record, Breaking Dawn is out. Go See It. NOW! Seriously. The bombb... Nuff Said. And....Tower Heist!! Wooop! This movie right here is an amazing movie. Period. Like, woahhh i love it. It's hilarious, brothaa. Eddie Murphy is amazing, end of freaking story! "Here's Your Bobby Pin, Here's Your Bobby Pin, Here's YOUR Bobby Pin, and Here's Your Punk Ass Bobby Pin!" Ahaha. Funny stuff. You have to see Tower Heist. Its funny. Yeah. So yeah, I have to start thinking of gifts to get people for Christmas. Because I always wait until the last minute and I'm striving to get the gifts before the last minute. Ahh. So like soccer is going fantastical. Mhm.. Um. Auditions for Beauty and the Beast start soon. Don't Ask Me Anything. I'm like... I don't know it's just coming up, and I... have nothing. Yeah. Life is chill, and having this whole entire week off for Thanksgiving is awesome possum! We went to The Wild Animal Park today, and after went to one of the best Barbecue places I've ever  been to, with one of the best waitors I've ever had. Brandon, if you are out there, You Are The Bomb Dot Com! Yeah today was super duper fun! (: Yupp. Life's chill. Loving Friends and Family.♥
♫Her Tears Like Diamonds on the Floor♫

Posted by Heather.

 

Mama Mia Radioo

November 15, 2011
Yeahh. I'm listening to Mamma Mia radio. A bunch of popular broadway/catchy Disney movie music. It's pretty amazing. ...Shalalalalala My Oh My, Looks Like The Boy's To Shy, He's Gotta Kiss The Girrl.. That sorta stuff. Loove itt. So, I'm still not completely "sick-free!" but I'm bored and don't feel like doing homework so I'm blogging. First; Festival was Fantastical*. I loveed it! Soo much. I really cannot wait till Shakespeare. I met a bunch of awesome people, and partied with the best people at my school. Drama is The Best. No Denying it...Mamma Mia Now I Really Know, My My, I Should Not Have Let You Goo.. (Sorry :p) So yeah. Festival Ruuled. Vanities got 5th. AOMS got 4th sweepstakes. It still feels like a dream. So many fun things happened, too many to name. But I want to mention that AH-FREAKING-MAZING "Airplane" bus we rode, which was too amazing for wordss. Ahhh. I found myself getting sucked into a zone of happiness. And then school started and I got sucked back the opposite way. Yeah. Life's going back to sucking. Whatever. At least it's the begining of winter, and overcast-ness seems to be a regular thing now. Woop! It's The Holiday Season. Peeace.

Posted by Heather.

 

sick :(

November 9, 2011
yeah, i'm sick. it's horrible. you don't realize how suckish being sick is, until you get sick. ughh. this is horrible. especially going to school like this. i just feel like crap. it's like a cold but im not blowing my nose constantly or coughing 24/7. i. hate. this.
i can't say much, but just wanted to let everyone know that this past week has been absolutely fantastic! so amazing. ill explain more about festival and stuff later. when i feel better.
its the holiday season....?

Posted by Heather.

 

Halloween2011.♥

November 2, 2011
First of all, I just want to let everyone know that I am in complete love with Pandora. I wanna marry it. I need to go propose. I mean; Hot Chelle Rae radio RULES! I've been listening to All American Rejects, Sum 41♥♪, Pearl Jam, Third Eye Blind 3OH3, and OMFG Jesse freaking McCartney just came on!! I Am Loving Life Just Sitting Here, Listening To music♥. Anyway, okay, I thought I was busy last week? Holy freaking crap! Showcase last week was literally in the top three events of my Entire Life!!! Holy fuck it was soooooo much fun I can't even describee. Then, on Friday I had a really awesome coaching day and then got Greek food!! On Saturday I had so much fun at a Kick Ass Halloween party hosted by one of my Best Friends in the Entire World! Saturday night, I watched Mamma Mia ( one of the Best Moves Ever, no lie) with a good friend. Sunday was pretty chill and fun and stuff, then on Monday. Monday was Halloween! I love my (Mad Hatter) costume and went Trick Or Treating in a good friends' neighborhood. I can't believe I even thought about Not going Trick Or Treating this year. :P . School is going absolutely ah-freaking-mazing. Except for tomorrow, when I am going to have to perform my Festival scene in front of Eighth graders. Crap. It's only One period I am particularly nervous about, so it's not going to be that bad. Hopefully. I am soo excited for Festival on Saturday! Eeeeek! Happy Late Halloween People!
♪Because I'm In Too Deep, And I'm Trying To Keep, Up Above In My Head, Instead Of Going Under♪
♥

Posted by Heather.

 

BizBee

October 24, 2011
Hell have I been busy. Like, unbelievably busy. In a strange way, I hate it. But in a more overwhelming way, I completely love it. I don't feel like explaining. But yet, I feel like telling the world that I took a nap today. Holy crap, how old am I? I swear to God. Dudee, every time I blog I look outside the window and I realize that it's overcast. Maybe it's a thing. Like, I only blog when it's overcast. Wierd. I've been talking to people. But I really wanna talk to people in Arizona. I miss them like hell. I've been doing so much. I have showcase on Wednesday. It's gonne be amazing. I have my Halloween costume, and can't wait to go to my bestie's Halloween partay. It's gonne be; The.Bomb. End of. Hot dogz I wish there wasn't school tomorrow, and I wish teachers would realize that the older we get, the less homework we should have on the weekend. Oh well. They're stupid. JayKay. I've been watching stuff, and I'm kinda back on Kidzworld. It's okay. Not the best. i really don't have anything else to sayy.
babe your mah it gurl, babe your the shit gurl, loving you should be a crime♪
man, my colts are failing. whatevz. at least the chargers aren't winning. i still love my colts. get better Peyton!

Posted by Heather.

 

Drills

October 21, 2011
So today we had this crazy meets completely crazy schedule (in which all of our periods were completely crazy and wacky and mixed up and all this crap). It was fun. Like crazy fun! Aha.The schedule was for this like statewide drill day, where we had to practice for things like lock-downs, fire drills, and earthquakes. It was intense, seeing as during the earthquake drill, we had no desks to go under so we were forced to stick our head under the chairs in drama. It was awkward and funny staring at people from under the chairs. So many giggles.♥  Got my costume for Halloween today. . . And One Act has coaching tomorrow after school, and we just our script Today! Wowie, it took me while but I have most of my lines memorized and I have a few blocking ideas. We previewed yesterday and today (but I only saw today) and I'm pretty sure we are gonna get good scores at Festival. Festival. It's like less than 5 weeks away! AHH! We have Showcase next week. Alot is going on, and yet there's not much to blog about.  And Halloween is almost here. WOOP.

Posted by Heather.

 

RollaCoasta.

October 19, 2011
I get this a lot. Roller coaster weeks. Like. Okay, so I have good days, then I have horrible days. On the horrible days, I feel like I wanna throw myself of the pier and die. Like there's nothing to live for. Because honestly, there isn't. I had one of those kind of days yesterday. But the thing is, today was pretty cool. I mean, it wasn't the Best Fucking Day Ever, but it was WAY better than yesterday. And on days like these, I'm hitting myself for even considering killing myself, or wanting to run back to Arizona. I'm going to go through my whole day, but to be honest I'm having a pretty cool 13-year-old life right now. And guess what? It's even overcast today. And I think I've said this multiple times before, but I.Love.Overcast.Days. Like, so much. I have a whole bunch of friend stuff going on. Like, I swear, this is the year for friendships/BestFriendships. YouKnowWhoYouAre. ;) I kinda have a lotta songs in my head at the mome, so no song lyric quote thing today.
:P

Posted by Heather.

 

Mix It Up ><

October 14, 2011
So yeah. Mix It Up day at AOMS. Fun, fun, fun. Aha, not really. What is Mix it Up day? You'll be sorry you asked; They gave us a colored bracelet and at lunch we had to sit with the people that had the same colored bracelet as us. Yeah, not fun.. I don't know why they do this. I mean, all we did was go out of the lunchroom and eat with our friends in Commons area. I mean, come on. You would think teachers would be at least have a tiny bit of a clue. And I know I'm sounding like I'm three years-old right now, but it's true. As we get older, you would expect schools to give us a little more freedom and allow us to do our own thing, rather than doing all this crap to make us "meet new people," and "have fun at school!" I'm just sitting here smirking right now because no matter how cool they try to be, School faculties will never be able to understand us students. Well hey, it was pretty sunny today and now the clouds are settling in and it has been the first cause of my happiness all day. I love cloudy weather. Does that me goth? xD I'm so ready for the weekend right now. So ready. Have I told anybody I love Good Charlotte? Well, I do.
♪Girls don't like Boys, Girls like Cars and Money. Boys will Laugh at Girls when they're not Funny♪

Posted by Heather.

 

HappyBdayDaddy♥

October 12, 2011
SoMuch Drama. SoMuch Stuff. Holy Freaking Crap, Man. I'm stuck in crappy friendship/best friendship drama. I'm stuck in "Okay, I said I wouldn't back out, but I don't want to do this anymore," crap. I'm stuck in being busy as hell and being overwhelmed things. And for me, this is all new. I hate life right now. I love those people that bring some "comic relief," into my life, and those people who seem to get me at the right times. The weather is wierd. Like, it was rainy last week, and then, "good morning it's gonna be hot hot hot today!" Yeah I don't have much to say. Apart from the fact that it's my Daddy's birthday today! We did stuff over the weekend and yeah, Happy Birthday Daddy!♥♥ I have an essay to type; byee!
♪Myy Heart's A Stereo♪

Posted by Heather.

 

Singerss.♪

October 6, 2011
So I'm not gonna spend too much time on this. Not too much. But I feel, in a way, that I have to. Because last weekend a girl from another middle school close to mine committed suicide. It's horrible. But it is the most horrible for the school she went to. I don't want to say too much about her, just that she had no reason to do this after analyzing what she was at school. I don't know if it was something at home, but according to her school life, she had no reason to... It's soul crushing to everyone in this city. She was an eighth grader, just like me. And I'm sure everyone considers this way out, but the fact that she actually chose it makes my heart and soul cry out tears of depression. I can't go on.
So this week has been pretty good. You don't know how good Drama makes you feel unless you actually experience the class for yourself. Drama 2 is legitimately the Best, period. So fun. So many good people. So many cool characters. I'm not going to describe it. Because I can't. Moving on. I am kind of obsessed with watching people/Disney characters sing right now. I've been on Youtube pretty much any time I have to do it. I'm watching X Factor auditions right now, and holy moly I wish I could sing like these people. But REALITY CHECK: I can't sing to save my life, periOD. Yeah. I have Drama Coaching tomorrow, then soccer practice, then a game on Saturday. I can't wait for next week.
♫I Wish Those Days, Could, Come Back Once More♫
♥

Posted by Heather.

 
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