I really did try to blog daily. I tried so hard. But some days I have more homework than others so I will just get blogging whenever I can. So being me, I have weekly embarrassing moments. In fact, usually they're daily. Whether it's something I say, or my clumsiness, or just something generally stupid, not a day goes by in which I don't regret something I've done. Although the week isn't over yet, I'm going to place this moment as my "Embarrassing Moment of the Week" and I'd like to thank Ryan and Jacob. Yeah jk, I'm not thanking them. I think I mentioned this in my previous post, but lately this guy has been really sort-of obsessed with me (hugging me every time he sees me, etc.) and I saw it coming that he would ask me out. And he did yesterday. He did the same thing with my best friend and as soon as she told him no, he seemed to hate her. He insults her all the time now, and they don't have normal conversations anymore. Maybe he takes rejection badly, and there's nothing I can do about that, but there is no point in leading him on. Think about if you were him, and your crush said that he/she might be into you or might want to be in a relationship with you at some point in time, but in reality, they just don't want to hurt your feelings. Imagine thinking that you might have a chance with someone, and the friendship gets broken horribly because of the lies that keep building up. Yeah maybe it was harsh of me to start shaking my head before he ended the question, and maybe I could have said something sweeter than, "no," but I didn't want to sugarcoat it. I probably should have told him why I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with him, but in my defense he quickly walked away after I told him that I wouldn't and I didn't get a chance to say anything else. The fact that this has happened twice this year, and both the friendships are over (I think) now, bothers me so much. I guess sensitive guys are attracted to me, and maybe I don't seem like the type to reject people, but honestly, guys need to man-up. If a girl rejects you, don't act like you can't even talk or make eye-contact anymore. I know the friendship will most likely end between me and the guy who asked me out yesterday only because he did the same thing to my best friend and, like I said, their friendship is over. I just don't want him to hate me because I didn't want to be in a relationship with him. Again, in my defense, he wanted to get together way too fast. I hope he knows that I don't hate him, and I won't find it awkward at all if we are still friends. To be honest with myself, I never really even liked him as a person, let alone as a possible boyfriend, until about a couple weeks ago. He was always kind of cocky and rude and just not a good person to be around. He has matured too much from middle school and I never really liked his presence until he obviously started liking mine. This is getting so off topic but I wanted to get it down that I'm afraid about how awkward he probably thinks we are, therefore; it will be awkward. The more actual embarrassing part of the whole thing was that he asked me during class, and when my friend Ryan got back from the bathroom, I told her about it, and she responded by saying in a really loud voice "ohhhhhhh awwwwh Jacob!" I wanted to melt into the floor and die. First of all, he probably was already sad about the fact that I rejected him, and he most likely didn't want me to tell anybody. I just feel so embarrassed and sorry about what I did. If he didn't already hate me for saying no, he probably double hates me now. I just hate that I do things that make me regret them so much. Of course I'm not mad at Ryan, I just wish I would've had better judgment and not told anyone about it. Ha, reading this over, I'm making myself seem like a guy magnet. That couldn't be farther from the truth, by the way. Don't get the wrong impression about me. I'm still a short ginger with freckles and a weird voice and an awkward face and an awkward life. Wassup....... Tomorrow will be so horrible. I won't have a directing partner, and I will feel so much negativity from him. Oh the joy of high school.
More later.