welllll, sorry for the break in posting! I've had so much work and so much stuff to do, and it was spring break last week so when I was in Prescott and Universal Studios I really didn't feel like posting. So wow guys, it's the glorious month of April that always seems to just freaking suck for me. Every year my grades drop, I lose friends, and teachers start to hate me all in the same stupid month. Metaphorically speaking, April showers really needs to bring May flowers. Yeeeah, I'm funny. So I really am falling hard for a guy. The best part is, I have spoken to him about one time. Good job Heather, you're so great at picking guys to like. The thing is, I didn't pick him. One day I was just sitting and thinking and realizing that if he and I were walking hand in hand my life would be complete. I did that teenage girl thing where you picture yourself wrapped in his arms at school and smiling and laughing and kissing and being happy. Being a teenager is the best... It's my best friend's birthday party in two days and I'm super excited just to spend time with her and watch movies and be with some of my best friends. My group of friends has just been falling apart at the seams though, and I constantly want to become a part of my other friends' group. I just can't leave. Not this year. My best friend and I barely hang out anymore, and when we both went to Prescott together I felt totally disconnected. She calls a girl she met this year (who I really love) her best friend and her 'other half" and the last time she called me her best friend was when we were having a sleep over and it was about twelve o'clock at night and we were about to go to sleep. I get so damn jealous of everything and I hate myself. I tried venting to the closest thing I have to a best guy friend and I told him almost everything I've been getting depressed over, and he goes and texts the one person I don't want to know I'm having problems, my best friend. Neither of them get as concerned about me as I would've over them and in the end, the whole thing just made me feel even worse. I had to lie and pretend that I was kidding about everything and I went home that night and cried an ocean. High school is so much worse than I ever thought. I honestly need new friends because my current ones just make me hate myself more and more. I put out fake smiles and fake laughs and fake everythings just to get through the day. The only people I can feel genuinely happy with are my friends in my P.E. period, and I don't really even hang out with them outside of that period. I'm stuck in the middle of absolutely everything in my life. This is turning into another one of those depressing teen blog posts but who else am I supposed to vent to? One happy thing that is, in a way, not so happy at the same time is the fact that my mom bought me One Republic's Native album yesterday but she won't let me have it until my June fifth birthday. I need that album so bad. I need that album so bad. I need that album so bad. I need that album so bad. I'm sitting here dying without my music. One Republic is my absolute everything I'm lost without them. They've gotten me through so much crap. They deserve an entire blog post, but I can't do that today.
More Later.