i only have ten minutes to write this so i'm hoping to be brief! haha! that's funny because brevity is a word that is so far out of my vocabulary i almost forgot how to spell it. anyway! an hour ago while i was eating dinner i got a facetime call from my old site lead at my previous job. i didn't answer it because i was eating with my parents and i'm sure he was drunk. so i asked if he was okay and he told me to call him. so i finished dinner quickly and then ran upstairs and put on makeup (because i still hate myself? (: ) and jumped on my chair and called him back. i knew he was with my old crew at that job because my coworker texted me right after i missed that facetime call. when i answered i was smiling so hard! i got an amazing view of my site lead and three coworkers - two of whom i love so much until the end of time. not trying to be dramatic but these dudes were so nice to me so much of the time. that job was difficult because i was constantly surrounded by dudes in a construction environment and i constantly felt like i shouldn't be there. i was always so nervous and constantly found places to be alone while i did my work in order to minimize my presence there. but these two coworkers of mine (chris and chance) were always the sweetest to me, helped me with literally everything i did, make me feel like i belonged there, never got frustrated with me outwardly after i made mistakes, inivited me to every after-work and during-work outing we had, didn't judge me when i got wasted my last night, and still are happy to talk to me. i can't even believe that knowing these kids for such a short period of time was enough for me to feel so sad when i left. i'm so happy i met them and i feel so lucky to have been exposed to such a cool group of people. i know if i spent all day every day with them for longer than the 4 months i had that job i would probably feel different, but i really cannot say enough good things about these kids for how amazing it was to work alongside them. my site lead on the same note was just incredible. taught me so much while simultaneously handling the insane amount of work he had so admirably. i always felt like a burden on him but then consistently he would praise me to my face and to everyone else, answer the 3 million questions i had for him every day, make an effort to get to know me, wish me the best always, and overall he generally was such a great role model for me. i wish i could see him for so much longer because i genuinely think he's an incredible person. the funny thing about all of this is that i am allowed to get this emotional attached as quickly as i did to friends but as soon as this happens with a guy im romantically interested in my entire world crumbles down. just shows me that friendship is far more important than a relationship, at least at this point in my life. this post is just a small tribute to my amazing amazon robotics deployment engineering family and especially those three guys that i spent so much time with and truly made me so happy all of the time. especially in an environment that made me very nervous all the time. im writing this because i want to be able to come back to something that documents how i feel in this moment about a group of guys that i truly wish the best for and am way too emotionally attached to. maybe women are more emotional? and that's not a bad thing? phew ... that's a topic to be discussed at a later time. okay it's been ten minutes, gotta go!